Monday, April 4, 2011

Thank You for Loving Me Enough to Cut Me Down

Dear Stepper and everyone,

Thank you for your words of encouragement Stepper, I sure do love you. Conference really was something special. We weren´t able to see the first Saturday session, so that's kind of sad, but I think I will print it out after this email. 

Well you´ll never guessed who arrived on Saturday..... Irma Perkins!!! My greenie!!!! She finally came! Woo hoo! OK so do you want to know all about her? Her name is Irma Perkins and she is 20 years old. that's right 20 not 21..why you might ask? Because her Dad is a member of the quorum of the seventy... Yup he was sitting in those red chairs yesterday. When you have a Dad that is a mission president or a member of the seventy you are allowed to go on missions earlier than 21 (for girls) and earlier than 19(for boys). So she is here. She is 20, and she grew up in China. She is blonde with Blue eyes and speaks Chinese. She is super sweet and funny, and while she waited for her visa she served an exciting two weeks in Montana, she has some funny experiences from that. Basically she is kinda of awesome. She already understands Portuguese really well. I´m impressed. I try my best to speak only Portuguese with her so that she can learn fast. Basically I´m super excited to work with her. 

I´m still feeling super inadequate, but at the same time when our mission president gave us trainers a training( a meeting about how to be trainers) he reminded us that the Lord has called us to be trainers of these greenies. He knows what He is doing. President Torgan explained that being a trainer is THE most important position in the mission, more than assistant, more than a mission president, because we are not just training these missionaries how to be missionaries, but we are training them for life........ OK NO PRESSURE! 

As I listened to conference yesterday, I felt the spirit so strong. Do you know that story in the bible of that rich man? Mark 10:17-22 (link?) Well I read that story the other day, and thought ´´what is it that I am lacking? What is the Lord asking me to sacrifice to take up the cross and follow Him? I kept that question in my mind during the week in preparation for conference. Each and every talk came alive to me. Spoke to my heart. I was taught through the Spirit, each hymn caught me up into tears and my faith was fortified and my concern was answered in many talks. 

One talk that really touched my heart was D. Todd Christofferson, he spoke about divine correction. His inspired words pierced my heart and the message was received. He told a story about a current bush and the gardener.(get ready for a really terrible summary)

 When the gardener went to prune the current bush he cut off all the branches, the bush was sad because he didn´t want to be smaller than the other trees and bushes in the garden. He was mad at the gardener, but the gardener knew better. The Gardener didn´t want the bush to be like the big trees or other bushes in the garden, he knew that he wanted a current bush. When the current bush later grew and flourished, the current bush thanked the gardener for loving him enough to cut him down.

What a true principle. Sometimes we do not understand what the Lord has in store for us, and when we he asks us to do something hard or when we are disciplined by the Lord, we can become frustrated, and sometimes overwhelmed with the thought. Here in the mission I feel like I´m in over my head most of the time. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to cut me down. He shows me my weakness in a variety of ways...and therefore gives me the option to either, trust in the Atonement and change and become who He needs me to be, or get frustrated, scared, and reject His help and rely solely on my own weak little efforts. Sometimes I think I would rather just grow without being pruned, try and then everything will be fine. But the Lord knows what he needs me to be, he knows when I need to be cut down, proved and tried, so that I can truly blossom. I am grateful that He really loves me enough to cut me down. 

So here I am sitting next to Irma Perkins, 3 weeks ago I was comfortably serving with my senior companion, finally getting the hang of this whole mission thing, and then I got the call that I would train a new companion, whitewash(all new missionaries in the area), and be partly responsible for helping to open a branch in my future area. 

I know that Elder Christofferson´s talk was more about being divinely corrected, than having heaps of responsibility loaded on your back..but to me this call has been a divine wake up call, to be better, work harder, pray more, do my best, be the trainer that Irma Perkin´s deserves and trust that the Lord knows who he needs me to be. 

Out of time. Love you all.

Irma McCrery

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